Listening Tip #4: Watch out for "feeling" words.
Because you're easily distracted, keep an ear out for emotionally tagged words such as sad, angry, lonely, hopeless, depressed, anxious and happy in conversation.
"I would say to my husband, 'I'm very lonely,' or 'I'm completely miserable,'" says Melissa Orlov, who blogs about how his undiagnosed and misunderstood ADHD nearly destroyed their family.
"Because he was always distracted by ADHD, he couldn't recognize these important 'feeling' words," explains Orlov, author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage[1] (Specialty Press/A.D.D. Warehouse).
If you get nothing else from a conversation except an understanding of how someone feels, you'll be a good listener, Orlov says.
Listening Tip #5: Schedule important conversations.
No one should have a serious conversation while checking emails or sending tweets. But for someone with ADHD, it's even more critical.
Not only could you send out public blunders, but you're also so distracted, your partner may be easily frustrated or offended.
Instead, schedule time to just talk and listen. Silence your phone, shut down your email and hold a regular, distraction-free meeting with your spouse.
Schedule this time to talk when you're both fully awake and functioning – not immediately before bed, when you're sleepy. The half hour before or after dinner usually works best, Barkley recommends.
References
- ^ The ADHD Effect on Marriage (www.amazon.com)
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